Crap

The day we can get on blogspot is the day i have nothing to say.

Please forgive me.

The last five stories I've tried to tell someone have been horrible train wrecks. I forget that stories people want to hear have endings. But the good news is I found 20$.

The times, the times

I was a busser today. I was a brave busser. Last time I bussed I broke a cup, spilled orange juice across my face and body with the hostess and a table of three sat and watched cooing...oohhh...., and ended up in a shirt that appearently made it look as if I just "rolled out of my mans bed" that or white trash man with a small head. I was going to do better today.
I get an 8 out of 10, I only broke one cup and only cleared only one table before the people left. My face was not read for twenty minutes and I wasn't glad I wore deodorant. (I'm really proud of spelling deodorant, I had to think about it.)
Afterward I tempted cancer for a while, went home, watched spanish soap operas with the Belvedres housekeeper, watched Jumanji with Ray( my creepy maintenence man), and took a shower.
I liked today.

Went to Incubus. Freaking love....
Theres a picture.
I was told that the guy in the picture was someone from the band, He autographed my foot after the picture was taken.

More pictures once Lucas sends them to me.

Today

1-Can I get change for this? (Hands a twenty)
2-Sure. Would you like a ten a five and five ones?
1-No, give me five singles
thats all

Ode to Courtney

FILL IT OUT! Learn 49 things about your friends, and let them learn 49 things about you!
1. Do you like blue cheese? Only on chuck-o-rama pizza.
2. Your Favorite Shoes? No shoes
3. Do you own a gun? No but one day hope to inherit Jims marshmellow blow dart gun. For personal reasons.
4. Your favorite song? Depends on whats playing
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes. My knees hurt for three days after every appointment.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I always want one. With ketchup.
7. Favorite Christmas song? I only like christmas songs when I singing them on stage is a santa outfit. Ask me then.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Chi
9. Can you do push ups? five
10. Are you afraid of flying? Nope, and I love turbulence. If there is none, its like sitting in a room staring at everyone for three hours.
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My leaf necklace I found yesterday, and my rusted sparrow ring. Can I say two?
12. Favorite hobby? Painting my toe nails
13. Animals: love them or hate them? They're okay.
14. Do you have ADD? I'm not a doctor
15. What do you hate about yourself? The side view of my face. I accept my vanity.
16. What is your middle name? Lynn
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: Wow that host girl should probably keep walking, I need to buy hairspray today, Hopefully Monica helps that guy.
18. What's your favorite number? 21
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, Juice, and chi
20. Current worry right now? Rent
21.Current hate right now? Money
22. Favorite place to be? coffee shops for the smell and the atmosphere.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? Monica and I stood atop the hilton and ate our "last" piece of candy.
24. Where would you like to go? Lazer tag
25. Name three people who will complete this? Courtney
26. Do you own slippers? Yes, three dollar$, three sizes too big.
27. What shirt are you wearing? I dont think its actually a shirt, more like a small blue table cloth.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Thats a little personal
29. Can you whistle? No
30. Favorite color? I like color, dont have a favorite.
31. Would you be a pirate? Yes
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? NA
33. Favorite girl's name? Jade shut up monica
34. Favorite boy's name? Monica
35. What's in your pocket right now? old gum
36. Last thing that made you laugh? Monica
37 . Best bed sheets as a child? New kids on the block.
38. Worst injury you've ever had? Getting hit in the face with a shovel.
39. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1
40. Who is your loudest friend? I usually cant hear anyone over myself.
41. How many dogs do you have? 2Rocky and Eddie
42. Does someone have a crush on you? My maintenance man.
43. Favorite Book? Harry Potter. All of them.
44. Partying hard or Laying low? Neither I just am.
45. What is your favorite candy? fake chocolate
46. Favorite Sports team? I wore an angels t-shirt two days ago.
47.What were you doing 12 AM last night? Listening to TV.
49. If you are married, where did you meet your WIFE/HUSBAND? In my dreams.

I Wanna Play

I woke up one day a few months ago wondering why I dreaded work so much. Could there be an easier job? I check people in, I check people out and eventually some people aren't happy and I try and fix that. I realized, Hey, I used to do this when I was five. I used to play house, Barbies and McDonalds with my fake little hamburgers and bread french fries that Sam and Courtney loved so much. Man, I was so ready to play grown up. I was even excited.

Its not even that I knew much at five but I seemed to know how to find the fun and life in things that the older and wiser people didn't seem to see. Its just that way with kids I guess. Its almost like they dont even know how to be bitter. Every day is a possibility of something amazing. Today is the best day of their lives.

I think today I'll see work as a game of house. Cause thats all work really is, a game for grown ups, mistaken for the meaning of life.

Today can be the best day of my life...maybe even at work.

4th day of July

One hour in the sun=4 days misery

So, being the albino that i am I've finally come up wtih a way to motivate me to loose pounds...

The less of me that there is, the less of me there is that has to feel sunburn.

13 going on 13 and baby.

So, It was Rebecca's 13th birthday today and we all went up Provo canyon for some festivities. I just figured out three months ago that she wasn't eight any more. Mom-Terri, Mom-Dawn

"birthday cake.".....the burning marshmellow you cant see.

Mom's arm, Mandy, Me, and Becky

Nico loves Payton



See Nico love Payton

Becky Poo





Also, Samantha had her baby two days ago, She is so effing cute! And thats not a doctor...its just me.

Sophie

Creepo

Steffany: "Thank you for calling THIS PLACE this is Steffany."
Random Caller: "Hey is this boobs?"
Steffany:"hahaha excuse me?!"
Random Caller: "I said is this boobs?"
Steffany: "hahahaha who is this?"
Random Caller:"This is 36D?"
******Silence**************
Steffany:Uh....
Random Caller:"This is 36D right? Steffany, you work at the front desk? We were discussing your bra size the other day cause I said you looked like my secretary."
Steffany: What the crap, I never did that! "Uh...I dont really remember that."
Random Caller: "Yeah we were talking about how you hate it"
Steffany: I was telling Tamara I hated them....Creepy man. "Oh...right."
Ramdom Caller:"Yeah I come in all the time and flirt with you. So does your bra size change?"
Steffany:"Uh...no."
Random Caller:"Victoria Secret girl right?"
Steffany:"Uh...no."
Random Caller:"Well maybe I'll come by and ask you on a date the next time I'm there which is next week."
***cricket cricket*******
Steffany:"Yeah....um stop by and see what I'm up to."
Random Caller:"So are you always a D?"

Whats going to happen?
I'm going to not know who the H this guy is. I'm going to glare at every guy that comes to talk to me that weekend. If that doesn't work, Its say yes to the date and somehow never be able to make it time. Someone save me.

I like the name Jade. A lot.

You like, You take

Inspiration has always tended to ESCALATE
soon enough. Ending in nothing great, you outlast, unintended.

50 to Life

I've proven to myself that I have the ability to live. Unfortunately, the proof that I've found has been dug up as evidence in the trial of the attempted murder of Steffany.

the other ten

ten things right with the world to balance my negative ten wrong things (these are not sarcastic)
1. Coke, which i just found out is much better than diet coke. And what do you know, its thanks to my grave yard, which was previously ten wrong thing.
2. Iceburg cookie dough malt shakes at ten.
3. The people I spend time with (and a few of the ones i rarely get to see). They make it on the list because they all tolerate my crazy.
4. My Dad.
4. My Mom.
5. People who can talk and wink at the same time. Bravo!
6. Persons who are not afraid to tell me when I'm being uncool. Some times I really just dont realize the things I say and the harshness they come out with. And sometimes my jokes are pretty bad.
7. People who almost get fired for telling people not to fart in the van.
8. Megan for getting fired over a blog.
9. Courtney for moving to arizona. I hope they find her soon.
10. A good old venti chai frapachinkkno early in the moring. And the afternoon. And sometimes after six.

10 ten X

Heres some things wrong with the world.
1. Grave yard shifts
2. When I'm in Barns and Nobel with smack face sitting in the chair right down the aisle from me. Is it possible for one person to be that hid? Can a person be so mannerless that they deserve a mother smack down? The answer is yes and so does their mom.
3. Juicy Steak
4.When theres a long line at walmart and every person in line is breathing down my neck. Look, Just because its a long line doesn't mean your going to loose your place if you dont stand directly on my heel. I mean come on people, I dont want to be death number eight in this world wide swine flu pandemic.
5. Cross walks with hidden bumps in the tar....and me walking across them.....in front of rush hour traffic.
6.People who think I can hear them when i have my ipod in. I'm wearing it for a reason. I can only fake talk on my phone for so long.
7. Watermelon.
8. Grave yard shifts
9. Purfume that you dont realize has effing pretty sparkles in it until you spray it on your self and dont wash off.
10. People who I've never seen get pissed off.

Scooter

Picture dedicated to Coco.

Just added a new member to the family. Used to be just the two tank cleaner fish and I, now we are happily joined by scooter.

Love

MAN, just love everybody. People rock. Unsarcastic.

Oxygen is free

Breathing is ideal when its fresh clean air entering my lungs. As a human, when I take in that nice clean air I send back out a toxin. Theres no way I can avoid this unless I'm to I deny my own nature. I cant choose to release anything different. Isn't that what we are meant to do as humans? When we take in life expericance do we not let that expericance back out changed? We can try to control the way expericances are changed but in the end, what was going to happen will happen.
The leason learned through expericance may be "toxic" to the body and could've come out with less harshness but its not something I can change. Once air is changed in my body, no matter how hard I try I cant take back that breath. I cant make that carbon monoxide back in to clean oxygen. All I can do is learn from that breath.
We all have to breathe.

My Rock Star is Flat

So here counts number three in my eight grave yard shifts. This is really the only time I like this. I think when I'm tired I have much more of an opinion. Usually I just let everyone else do the talking and opinion stating. Once I get tired I decide its my turn and all you better just watch out.

I swear this is just a horrible Deja Vu. I sit in this chair watching movies. Movies? Usually fun. Now, hell. My eyes have this problem where they want to close when its normally time to sleep. Last night my genius told me to try a rockstar. At one point last my legs felt like they were floating independently, but, at least my eyes were wide open. I'm going to try pure will power tonight.

Back to the opinion stating....
When I meet people I have a horrible first impression. I think that I get this bad impression because I dont talk for the first while that I mean someone, unless its work related. Its not cause I'm pissed and its not because I'm shy. **My thoughts** "What better way is there to get to know somebody then by simply watching and listening?" It takes me about an hour to decide what relationship me and new person are going to end up with. They dont always know that we're about to be best friends forever and buy matching braclets, they probably think I hate them. Its really not that hard to be liked. All you have to do is be as real as you are. As soon as I feel like someone says something to impress and build themselves up I loose interest. Keep in mind, I dont have a fair standard becuase I often fall short of my own expectations.
Mostly it just hurts my body to listen to other girls suck up and say things they dont mean, agree with things they dont actually agree with and laugh at things I know they dont think are funny. Fake laughter only convinces fake people.

Rebel without a cause

Today was a tough day.
Woke up just like any old day in Provo at my cousin Courtney's house. Since I'm alone I eat a guiltless bowl of cereal, scrambled eggs AND some fakey sausage. I also added ketchup. Dont judge me.
So I'm leaving her house and as I'm closing the door I think to myself...."Do i lock the door? Courtney usually makes fun of me and my over locking anything i own with a lock"....After a few hesitant moments i figure I'll lock it for Sir Tobens saftey.
Around Four thirty Courtney texts me and asks me if it was me that locked the door.
Turns out they dont have the house key and the ol' husband has to go to the land lady to get in the house. Turns out Land lady dosen't like that and I no longer am able to sleep over. I've never been banned from anywhere and I kinda had a hope that if I ever was it would be for something so much more cool then that. Thats what i get for splurging with that amazing breakfast.
Post Blog.
Working two weeks worth of grave yard shift. Lots of blogs to come.

Finding Happy

Its hard to make everyone happy. In fact, It might even be impossible. I honestly believe that I am a degree of crazy. I dont think they have a name for my crazy cause its entirely possible that I'm the only one with this form of the insanity. (I don't count my OCD as part of this crazy) I'd love to be able to explain why I do the things I do and why I'm living my life. I can only think of one way to say it. EVERYTHING I do, I do to keep myself sane.

I cant believe how powerful the mind is. On top of that I cant handle how strong emotions get. It blows my mind how one persons phone call, one persons smile, even just one persons preasance can change my entire day. Its beautiful to me how much you can feel for someone. Beautiful but back to the crazy...I don't think i was meant to love people. When I do I always find a way to sabotage the bond I've formed. I don't believe people are meant to be alone but sometimes i have to wonder. How the heck does everyone do it? Is that why people lie? How can you love so many people and keep them loving you.

I have a good friend who always says how pain lets us know that we're living. Without pain we would not know happiness. I admire this person to death because when they say it they mean it. I wish I could smile at the beast the way they do. Instead I do everything I have to to avoid feeling any pain. In my head I agree entirely, but my actions keep me safe. I'm sick of being afraid of feeling.

I dont regret anything I did in my life, I will learn from the things i do and take things in stride. My mom asked me to make a goal this week. My goal is to not let negative thoughts into my life. People are beautiful and so is the world. Everyone is here to help each other. I want to be part of the lifting. God love us.

The working class and 24

I've been watching the third season of 24 the past few days. Turns out when I'm watching a series on DVD or reading a book I start to loose the line between reality and fiction(yes, I'm still wondering where Edward ran off to). The story becomes my life. So, now I'm sitting here thinking any minute some guest is going to call down and inform me that they plan on releasing a weaponized virous into our AC system which is going to kill us all unless i get them in touch with the president. Then I remember that I dont know the president, in fact I dont even know who the mayor is. Suddenly I realize, my long time love, jack, will not be coming to save me. Thats why work is hard.

Thats all.

hmm...

So to set up the story you need to know that since moving to salt lake its been a while since I've been to church. By a while I mean six months.

Yesterday
Crossing the crosswalk on my way home from the mall I'm seeing tons of girls in dresses. I know that they're on their way to womens confrence and that makes me think, "Hmm...i love womens confrence. Why didn't I try and get tickets?" My next thought was, "Why the heck is this girl waving her arm around." Turns out its my old ward from provo like four years ago.
SO, anyways the leaders happen to have one extra ticket and tell me I'm coming. It was amazing to see the prophet speak. I was so happy I went.
It was amazing to me the odds that i would be twenty feet from my house and run into my old ward. Just a few seconds difference and I would've missed them. I'm thinking I needed to go....

Yes

For the record, I'm attracted to the male gender. See picture.

Choosy Moms Choose JiF

SO, First blogs first. Here I sit my my computer chair at four in the morning waiting for my graveyard operator shift to end so that I may start my 6am front desk shift. I promised Courtney, my cousin, I'd start a blog and what better time? And yes, I already finnished the peanut butter and bananas I brought to well....keep me awake? Cause everyone knows peanuts are basically steriods.
Mostly I'm wrighting this so that I dont get scared thinking about the phone call i got while i'm sitting here all alone where all i heard was some deep breathing. Guess that one wasn't as off as the conversation i had with a guest for about twenty minutes about my feet. Yes sir, I am ticklish. Who even freaking calls a hotel at four in the morning?! Hotels are for sleeping, not for calling. And if you must call dont be boring and ask me for a tooth brush take this chance to try that prank phone call you've wanted to do since you were twelve. Its okay, I cant tell your mom, I dont know who she is.